Mandarin Course

Asiansploitation: I’ll Be White For You (song parody first date asian comedy)

Click more for lyrics. This was performed on Dec. 4, 2010 at the Factory Theatre, Toronto, Canada by Asiansloitation: Toronto’s #1 Asian Comedy Troupe. First performed at the Toronto Fringe Festival in July 2010 at the Annex Theatre. SCRIPT Gene: Yo guy. I think these chopsticks are broke. Andrea: Do you want me to teach you how to use them? Gene: Nah, I saw the Karate Kid remake. 2 times. It’s good. Andrea: How about I’ll just give you a fork? Gene: Forks are for quitters. Andrea: Do you want some tea? Gene: Yeah, cold tea. “Salud”, as the Japanese say. Phhh…the fuck? This is just tea. Andrea: Yeah it’s Jasmine tea. Gene: Jokes. What’s that red stuff? Andrea: Oh, that’s Kim chee. Gene: Bless you. LYRICS TO SONG Close your eyes, picture this. That my skin is milky white, My hair’s gold as the sunlight, And my eyes are blue, -oo-oo. You’d like me then, right? I’ll be nice, no more rice, I’ll wear shoes around the house. I just want to be your spouse, Or maybe common law. We could have more than one child. I’ll be white for you, Then you’d love me too. I’d say words like “Dude”. Ketchup on my food. I’ll be white for you Please just say “I do.” No more films by John Woo Only films by John Hughes Pick you up, in a truck With John Mayer singing your name. I’ll take you to a Marlie’s game, They’re the Leaf’s farm team This guy knows what I mean. I’ll be white for you Throw a barbeque, Won’t you eat with me please macaroni and cheese. Girl, here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re …